meet the blogger

my name is valerie aka natural, and i love writing and making people laugh. i never know what i’ll share or blog about, so if you’re looking for focus go stare at a dot because you won’t find it here. this is me, thinking out loud and it’s cheaper than therapy.

my birth name is valerie morrison and since being on the web, i’ve used variations of the acronym, ntrlwmn because i thought it summed me up in one word.

i love to clean, but i hate cleaning the kitchen.

when i was a kid, people used to run into me with their bike. a lot. i guess i looked like a pole.

i love making people laugh.

as a kid, i was too shy to wear anything that showed my belly button. today, i can’t even find my belly button.

i’m afraid of butterflies and moths. i blame my brother for teasing me with peacock feathers when i was younger.

i’m into the two ears and one mouth thing. i listen more than i speak.

people think i’m quiet.

i love entertaining and having dinner parties. i plan everything from the menu to the music.

i used to sleep with the radio on at night.

i direct music videos in my head of my favorite songs as i listen to them.

i enjoy running. i mostly walk.

i hate being cold, it makes me angry. i will never go skiing.

i’m bad at proofreading.

i love carrot cake, with nuts.

i love cookies, with nuts.

i usually type in lowercase, that’s my signature on the web. it makes people mad and i’m okay with that.

i used to put trash in the mailbox as a kid. somehow, the mailman caught me and told my mom.

this was probably around the time in my life when my memory fades to black and those years are classified as an x-file.

i used to lock public bathrooms from the inside and then crawl out from under the space below.

once, i was busted by an elderly friend of the family and she made me crawl back under to unlock the door.

i gave up doing stupid stuff until i could think of a better plan without getting caught. so far my record is 0-3,265.